The opportunity cost of purchasing power
Somewhere along the way to making a lot of money, I took a detour (safe to say that I haven’t made even a fraction of what I’d ideally like to, of course!). I felt I needed time to understand precisely what I intended to do with all this money I was looking to make. So, I took down notes. Of the things I wanted, of the things I had, of all the things I thought people needed to have. As it turned out, I didn’t use more than a page-anda-half to sum up what I’d initially supposed would be a mammoth list. I loved the ‘villa in Greece’ and ‘vineyard in New South Wales’ entries, almost as much as the ‘1954 vintage Mercedes-Benz 300 SL gull-wing’ and ‘bespoke Savile Row suit’. I still do. But somewhere in the making of this list, it struck me that the things that made me happiest didn’t really have a price tag. Or, worse, I realised I probably couldn’t buy them with all the money in the world.
It’s a simple exercise—putting money down on something that catches your eye or on something you think you deserve. After all, that’s what we work for, right? To have a ‘better’ life, to enjoy each day more than the last, and to secure ourselves against things beyond our control. Investments, plans, savings. All things tangible and numerical. My little list included all of these. Satisfied, I put it away and got back to work. Then, on a whim a few days later, I went back to it and tried to put a timeline to it. So, against each item, I put the tentative time it would take me to achieve it. Too long, I finally gathered. So, then I listed the things that I could immediately acquire, and their respective prices. Here it is..
Item: Closure; Price: Zero
Seems like a strange entry, I know, but it is satisfying beyond belief. I went through a few bad patches.emotionally, financially, ego-bashing-ally.and all of those moments seemed to stay with me. I resented people, I resented circumstances, I resented the idea that I didn't vent as much as I should have. But, soon enough, it was costing me more than I bargained for. I lost sleep, I lost friends and I lost faith. Till, finally, the list was made and I realised that I'd learnt a whole lot, become a more sensible person and, without a doubt, learnt to channel my emotions into doing something. It took me a while, but I was happy that I bought some closure. All you have to do is begin with: "Maybe I was wrong?" and everything just clicks into its designated slot.
Item: Sanitisation; Price: 24 hours
Clutter is dangerous. It permeates your thinking, it takes up space when you’re already running out of it and, annoyingly, it stops you from starting up something new. The riskier part is that it makes you so comfortable that you fail to realise that it is slowly changing you, directing you into accepting that clutter is the way things need to be. Be it your desk, be it your environment, or be it your life, clutter needs to be seen for exactly what it is: unnecessary. Start with a tiny purge and with the simpler stuff. Anything you haven’t used in six months, including clothes, should go. Ditto for any letter that hasn’t been opened in six weeks, and for items around the house that need an upgrade. The rule of thumb is this: technology is allowing us to small-size just about everything, so get the apps and devices you need. Scan documents and e-file them. Put important papers in labelled folders and boxes. Label everything and put it away. Unless you’ve been hoarding stuff for a decade, all you need is 24 hours. Enlist the help of people if necessary, and make boxes of stuff you're going to give away to charity. There are plenty of people out there you could still use the stuff you no longer need. So, books, yes, please donate. Your baggage? Please discard. Which you will, once all the clutter leaves your sight.
Item: Judgement; Price: A few jolts to your ego
We're unique in the way we're wired. Yes, Indians.though similar to some other cultures in cuisine and customs.have ethics and attitudes that are the result of our childhoods and our familial ties, and that's difficult to change. Not that you need to. What you may need to adjust is the idea that you have to have a say in everything, or that you should have a point of view about everything. You can, except that you don't need to. Judgement should typically be reserved to matters that fall within the domain of your expertise. My interactions with some amazing women during the course of my work have taught me a whole lot, but the most important thing is that we tend to judge too quickly, and we tend to judge everything. It's a colossal waste of time and mindspace. Reserve your opinion till you've thought it through. More time, less angst.
Item: Faith; Price: Letting go
The thing with faith is that it's often confused with religion. There's more to faith than rituals and tenets, which is why I tend not to get into discussions about faith. They're almost always one-sided. Faith is about believing in something, but the basis of it is understanding that your immediate need is probably selfish and, well, letting someone else come first. Without sounding like a guru, the idea of ‘having faith’ rests on the understanding that what goes around comes around, and you wouldn’t want that in most situations. Becoming a mute spectator isn’t an option, of course, but relentlessly pursuing what you love isn’t the best option either. Sometimes, you’re richer for letting go. Be it a deal that has ramifications you don’t understand or your ideas that someone else has run with, just move on. You’re already better off.
Item: Friendship; Price: Zero (or alreadywritten-off debt)
Friends and money don't mix, or so goes conventional wisdom. I disagree. They can actually mix quite well, at least when the basis of the friendship doesn't become money. Good friends end up rivals because they sealed deals too clinically, or because they didn't set any ground rules at all. If you're mixing friendship and money, just be clear about one thing: which do you deem more important, and without which you would be poorer. Know this, and your friend can become your best associate yet. There is a caveat: A good friend values you and your money, so if you think you're doing him a 'favour' just forget it. You're helping him or her to help yourself.
Item: A cold/hot beverage; Price: “May I?”
The solution to most pressing problems lies in sitting back, closing your eyes and having a beverage. In silence and by yourself, if possible. There’s science to it, of course, but the bigger aspect is time. As you pour over a steaming cup of tea or a chilled mug of beer, you’ll ease up, dissolve any pent-up emotion and rethink the situation. In an aggressive conference that will seemingly boil over? Get some tea. Visiting someone and you have something not-too-positive to discuss? Request for a beverage. It takes the edge off. I’ve tried it a number of times, and it’s always worked (except twice, when I ended up spilling the damn thing all over myself!)
Item: Family; Price: Whatever you choose
I'm often asked about this work-life balance thing. It sounds very cool to say, "I leave my work in the office!" but that's the last place you leave it. It's in your head. It's all over your time. And not being able to deal with that just makes it worse. It has worked that I have combined the two. Sure, everything should have been done yesterday, but you probably have family that wishes that you were done already. So, the solution? Try to combine the two in a matrix where you're spilling over things that border on discussion and not things based on absolute deadlines. Again, a tiny caveat: restrict your social networking activities to a couple of hours.
All of these ideas are fairly easy to practice, but the primary thing is that you give yourself a break. You really don't need to push in every direction every time. This is the bottomline: The amount of time you spend acquiring all the fancy goods doesn't really justify the price tag. You end up spending of yourself, which can't be quantified. Unless you're Richard Branson, and have mastered the art of living as you should.