First Salary And Family Expectations: Why Young Women Often Face A Tougher Money Conversation

In a recent social media post on Reddit, now gone viral, a 21-year-old software engineer in Bengaluru, has shared how her family has set expectations for her to contribute significantly to the household finances and save for a future family home after she landed a Rs 1 lakh monthly salary in her first full-time job.

She said it has become a point of disagreement as she harbours her own desires to build savings, invest and achieve financial independence. This expectation has sparked conversation and debate on the social media platform, from women sharing their own experiences to people making it a gender-debate, as to why she shouldn’t be allowed to plan her own finances when men do the same?

This dilemma resonated with several people as many young professionals experience this, especially in our country.

For first-generation earners, a salary is viewed as a family resource rather than just the individual’s income. Parents tend to believe that since they have invested heavily in their child’s education, the child should return the favour once he/she starts earning. These expectations can create immense pressure for such young adults who are trying to secure a corpus for themselves in the future. Earning is not just about how one spends it in the present; it is about how they view it as a resource, a sense of security for today and tomorrow, as well as a safeguard if things go south in the future.

For women, this situation can become even more complicated. Many working women face a unique set of financial expectations. They are expected to contribute substantially to their parents before their wedding, and when they get married, to their husband’s family, all the while being told to save for future responsibilities. In some households, daughters who earn well are seen as dependable and are expected to take the role of caregivers, which makes it harder for them to establish financial boundaries.

“Due to the structure of our society, traditionally, family expectations place different burdens on young earners based on their gender. While young men are often expected to take over family responsibilities as heirs, their contributions are frequently tied to property or long-term family assets,” says Abhishek Kumar, a Securities and Exchange Board of India-registered investment advisor (Sebi RIA) and founder at SahajMoney.

“But for young women, there is a risk of their income being treated as consumable family revenue to fund assets that may eventually be inherited solely by their male siblings, leaving very little to the woman and leaving them without their own personal financial safety net when she transitions into marriage or her own independent life,” adds Kumar.

Another challenge faced by women is the lack of financial literacy. The excitement of a high salary often overshadows the importance of creating an emergency fund, investing for retirement, and protecting oneself against unforeseen expenses.

“To strike a realistic balance between both, it is advised that she first establish a firm boundary by not disclosing her exact income and creating a separate and undisclosed bank account for personal wealth creation. She can satisfy her family’s needs by contributing a fixed, reasonable amount while automating her own investments right when her salary hits. It would be better if she communicates directly with her parents about the uncertainty associated with the job market, so that while she would be helping the parents financially on essential spends she currently doesn't have enough money to fund large or non-essential expenses like building a house,” adds Kumar.

Supporting one’s family and pursuing financial freedom are not goals that are easy, but they aren’t far-fetched either. A structured financial plan for one’s long-term goals lies in balancing generosity with careful planning. As many young Indians begin earning higher salaries much earlier in their careers, conversations around money shouldn’t happen after the salary is credited, nor is this confined to gender. Seeking financial advice can help in removing emotions from difficult money conversations.