Why Returning Home After Years Abroad Is a Different Choice for Indians

For many Indians who have been living abroad for ages, who have built their career and lives away from home, one dilemma remains: who would take care of their parents? This decision is much more than just a career calculation. It is entirely uprooting how you have been living and have adapted to do so, and moving back to India, where one has to take up the responsibility of ageing parents.

In a recent trending social media post shared on LinkedIn by a Bengaluru-based tech executive, Ramesh NN, made the choice to move back to India from Canada almost 6 years ago. His decision sparked curiosity and debate among the readers as to why this decision is so important for individuals who move away for educational and career opportunities.

Almost six years ago, Ramesh made the decision to relocate from Canada to Bengaluru. As shared in the post, he said that it is one of the most difficult choices he has made. “Close to 6 years ago, I made a decision that many of us in the diaspora quietly wrestle with - moving back from Canada to India to be closer to ageing parents,” Ramesh wrote.

The decision, as he said, was confusing and complex as it required weighing several competing priorities. It meant that he had to choose between comfort and connection; predictability and responsibility; and global exposure vs being present for family. For most of the time, Ramesh had tried to juggle both and have the best of both worlds, which he realised was not serving the situation. He will have to make the call between the two eventually, which he did and moved to Bengaluru to be closer to family. “At some point, it became clear that time with family isn’t something you can defer indefinitely,” he wrote.

Why Is This Situation Relevant To Many?

The post reaching virality might be significant and unique; however, this incident is certainly not. Many individuals who move away from home end up facing such dilemmas when they realise that their parents, who have a major role in giving them this lifestyle, are ageing and will, in the near future, require constant support, assistance, and care.

The Home Returning Divide

As per OECD’s 2024 data report, namely, Understanding Return Dynamics and the Role of Family and Community, the report found that migrants returning to their origin countries are often economically better positioned, with relatively high education and employment levels. However, in our case, the reason for returning home is caregiving, which leaves a question of why individuals face the dilemma and lack boundaries, as Eastern countries have this responsibility.

“People not coming from our part of the world may wonder why the family did not opt for a caretaking service for their parents. But that question often comes from a place that doesn't quite understand how the family system works in India. Here, being present for ageing parents isn't a task many prefer to outsource to hired help. It's about sharing meals, being there for the small daily rituals, letting parents feel they still belong to a household and haven't been reduced to something to be managed by strangers. Unlike the Western world, Indian parents spend their lives raising kids, providing for their higher education and helping them pursue their dream career by sacrificing their own wants. So it's quite natural that their kids want to care for their parents when they need it the most,” adds Abhishek Kumar, a Securities and Exchange Board of India-registered investment advisor (Sebi RIA) and founder at SahajMoney.

Ramesh’s dilemma reflects something that is faced by most individuals from the Indian diaspora. While life abroad might offer comfort, stability and opportunities to grow, these individuals still harbour feelings of connection to their parents. For those in a similar situation, Ramesh’s message is not just a career or geographical decision. It is a life decision that requires accepting trade-offs and some opportunities that cannot be recovered.