Before You Say Yes: Six Money Questions Every Couple Should Ask For A Stable Marriage

Marriage in India often begins with talk of families, horoscopes, and ceremonies, but rarely of money. Yet, as a new 1 Finance Magazine study reveals, financial mismatches can quietly become the biggest fault lines in relationships.

The study, which covered over 1,200 divorced or divorcing individuals across major Indian cities, found that 43 per cent of them cited financial disputes as one of the reasons their marriages collapsed.

It’s not the absence of money, experts say, but the absence of alignment about it. The report shows that 67 per cent of couples argued about finances regularly, some as often as every fortnight. “We often believe financial fights are about cash flow,” says Animesh Hardia, Senior Vice President, Quantitative Research, 1 Finance. “But more often, they are about values.”

One person may come from scarcity and prefer saving; another may be more comfortable spending. Both are valid, but unspoken differences in money behaviour can cause lasting friction.”

The data paints a sobering picture:

• Over half of the women surveyed (56 per cent) married men who earned more, and nearly half reduced or quit work after marriage.

• Many relied on their partners to handle all household expenses.

• Among men, 42 per cent had to take loans to pay for divorce or alimony, with nearly a third left with negative net worth after separation.

This seems like a pattern that cuts across incomes and professions; therefore, one must look at ways that can help steer a clear marital path, which is built on sound financial planning. The report ends with a rare and practical checklist: six questions couples should answer before marriage, not after trouble begins.

1. Who will support ageing parents?

In Indian families, this question often goes unasked, yet it becomes a source of quiet resentment later. Will both partners share responsibility for their respective parents, or will it fall on one? Discussing this openly and financially planning for it prevents future emotional and monetary friction.

2. How will existing loans or debts be handled?

Many enter marriage with EMIs, for education, homes, or business. Transparency here matters, for instance, hiding debt or assuming the other person will shoulder the burden of repaying debts can lead to major trust issues later in life.

A simple review of each other’s liabilities and repayment plans would always be a good starting point.

3. What are our shared financial goals?

Whether it is about buying a house, raising children, or taking annual vacations to refresh, couples should get clarity on their joint goals, which would help them stay aligned. Having a clear understanding of why you are saving and how much contributions need to be made will keep expectations in check and arguments to a minimum.

4. What lifestyle standard can we truly afford?

This is where a lot of relationships stumble. One partner may value frugality; the other may prioritise comfort. Establishing an acceptable monthly budget, and reviewing it periodically, can save couples from guilt, comparison, or blame over spending.

5. How will we manage income volatility?

Freelancers, entrepreneurs, and those in creative or commission-based jobs don’t earn a fixed salary. If one partner’s income fluctuates, will the other adjust spending or share more responsibility that month? Planning for uneven income flows keeps temporary stress from becoming chronic resentment.

6. Who will manage long-term investments and financial planning?

Every household needs a “financial driver,” but it doesn’t have to be the man, or just one person. The key is to assign responsibility consciously, with joint visibility. Keeping one partner entirely out of the loop, as many women in the survey were, increases vulnerability if things go wrong.

Divorce lawyer Aditi Mohoni from the Bombay High Court says most of the damage she sees could have been avoided with these conversations. “Divorce is not just emotional; it’s financial. Career breaks, lost income, and alimony can strain stability for years,” she says.

“Set clear money rules early, decide how income will be shared, and if one partner isn’t earning, build assets or insurance in their name. It’s not unromantic, it’s responsible.”

As Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj, founder of Ekam Nyaay Foundation, puts it: “Marriage today isn’t just about love, money plays a huge role, and ignoring that reality only invites trouble.”

The study notes that financial transparency should not be an uncomfortable topic; it must become the backbone of a healthy partnership. Asking these six questions may not sound romantic, but it might just be the most loving thing couples can do before saying “yes.”