Editor’s Note: Why I Want To Be ‘Sassy’ And ‘Selfish’

“Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.”

—Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

Sassy, impudent, greedy, selfish, arrogant, rude, hysterical, illogical. These are only some of the disparaging monikers that are commonly used for women, not just in India, but across the world. Look a little closely and you will realise that such names are used for women who are independent-minded, ask for their rights unabashedly, and challenge established social norms.

All that upsets our patriarchal society, as poet Maya Angelou so beautifully articulates in Still I Rise. Patriarchy likes to box women in certain roles and defines them as “good” and “bad”. Adherence to those roles and set rules makes women acceptable, but any divergence is scorned.

That’s exactly how it plays out when women ask for what’s rightfully theirs in their maternal property, ancestral or self-acquired by the father. They suddenly become “vicious”, “ungrateful” and “family breakers”. And that’s exactly what stops them from voicing their rights and relinquishing them.

The emotional burden is too much to take in most cases. While that is largely understandable, know that by giving in, you fit right into the patriarchal box of being “emotional”, another sobriquet commonly used for women.

I am not telling you to pick up the cudgels right away. Change starts from within, so the first step is to be aware of your rights, something that’s within the ambit of law. Second, tear apart your own reactions and decisions to get to the root cause. Next, open up conversations, within families, on how and why change is important. Maybe first with other women in the family, and then with the males.

In all this, know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You may reach a compromise, but that too will be a solid step towards paving a more secure path for the next generation of daughters. Most importantly, remember that claiming an inheritance is not about whether you need the money or not, it’s about carving out your identity and making your voice heard.

So, dear women, don’t be afraid of being called “sassy” or “selfish”. Claim what’s yours!